Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written:
I want that to be the final line of my biography.
let’s not forget about this gem from macbeth
and, of course, from henry v
ah, the leeks.
Guys are we forgetting Titus Andronicus or
my sisters friend brought brownies in cupcake wrappers to my house and i picked one up and turned it over and noticed there were oreos baked into the bottom so i gasped and said to my dad “THESE ARE NOT REGULAR BROWNIES” and my dads eyes went so wide and he whispered “pot?”
Waking up on November 1st is literally like walking through a door from Halloweentown to Christmastown
What’s this? What’s this? There’s décor everywhere. What’s this? There’s carols in the air. What’s this? I can’t believe my eyes it’s just November come on folks I mean I swear. What’s this?
I FREAKING READ IT IN JACKS VOICE
I FUCKING SANG IT
did you hear about the italian chef who died?
he pasta way
he just ran out of thyme
here today, gone tomato
his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it
we never sausage a tragedy coming
ashes to ashes, crust to crust
there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world
GUYS THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT PLEASE DON’T SCROLL PAST IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember that one time in an episode of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody when Bob said…
IF YOU ARE A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL RIGHT NOW I ADVISE YOU TO DO YOUR BEST SERIOUSLY I THOUGHT HIGH SCHOOL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN AND I DIDN’T DO SHIT AND NOW MY C’S ON MY FRESHMAN REPORT CARDS ARE KILLING ME IN MY COLLEGE APPS AND I WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME TO DO BETTER SO PLEASE LISTEN TO ME IF YOU ARE A FRESHMAN GOOD GRADES ARE COOL